Everyone and me

I thought that sounded like a cool title of a song. I guess. As this year is coming to a close, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Too much thinking, probably. I like thinking, just staring and thinking about what you need to do next and what's wrong with the world. I like thinking about anything and everything. I think about death, life, wars, peace, anything really. I think I get it from my mom. We went shopping for some new clothes and she told me, "I wasn't fun to go to places with." Which I guess is why no one ever talks to me or asks me to go anywhere fun. But whatever, I deal with it. I guess I get sad at times, and write "school inappropriate" blog posts, but that's not my fault. No wait, that is. I wish I had some mental disease to blame all of my weird problems on. Mom says I can start taking medication to handle stress and my low self confidence, and I think I'll hit up on that offer. I'm also going to take the adult content warning off. That was stupid. All of my ideas are really. I feel like life is just like sleep, except in my dreams the world is always black and white. Except blood. That stays red in my dreams. Why? Because I always die in my dreams. My dreams, not nightmares. My nightmares are when I wake up and realize I have to do things. I don't mind doing things, I'm just scared of what happens in life in general. I like to stare at a white wall until it turns into imagination. Turns into imagination and anything and anyone can go there and I create entire worlds which I explore and create and just have fun in. It lets me go. The hardest part about blog posts is the white on the sides as I write them. It's just begging me to go in, and often, I do. Anyway, in my dreams they're always black and white and red. Here is an example of every one's common dream. You're falling off a cliff, but here's how mine's different. I'm bleeding out of every orifice. And every scab I pick at on my body. I never see out my eyes I always follow along the back of me, like my soul doesn't want my body. Then I see trees come into view. They are big black pines, but oozing bright blood out. I see a hole, where I am going to fall into, filling with buckets of blood. Then I see some demonic creature that only my mind can come up with. Their eyes are swollen shut and dripping. Their mouths are dripping blood down their chin. random boils explode with pus, which is in black and white. Along with blood. Nothing is to scale. I land in the hole, struggle to escape but now I seem to be bound at my wrists. I sink below the blood and watch myself drown. When I die, the world slowly turns all black and fades out, like a movie. Then I awake. All this happens in just 10 seconds. But yet it has been 8 hours. Is this school appropriate?