I never knew that goblins would be my friends

At D&D, my character right now is a Human Rogue named Azaroth. He uses a sniper crossbow because that's what his job is. A sniper. Another player, whose name I cannot remember at the moment, also plays a rogue, but he uses a club to own his enemies. In the game, that character is my brother. We both got arrested and he spent his time working in the jail yard while I spent my time figuring out how to kill the jail yard gaurds. Soon we had broken out. We fled to the nearby city and hid there. Then an offer came up to protect a group of pioneer/pilgrims and start a new city in the ruins of an ancient kingdom. We also got land permits and my character's grand idea was to start a horrible crime city with me and my bro being the crime lords. The first monsters we encountered were stirges, which are like big mosquito type things that mostly attacked our horses. After a battle of rolling in the grass, I ended up with a bad case of ticks, and Azaroth sat the next battle out. This is because I forgot my character sheet.

So in the next battle, we fought goblins who wanted the herbs that some lady was digging up. Weird, I know, welcome to D&D. I had a wizard character as a back-up, so I played him for the battle. I was excited to fight goblins because they usually have some piece of treasure that they took off of some merchant they killed. But no, the merchants they were planning to kill were us, and therefore they did not have anything good on them at all. While that happened my main character, Azaroth was kidnapped by other goblins that were raiding our caravan. Fudge. The goblins however, accepted me, being a criminal and as mean as a goblin. So now I am on my way back to the caravan from the middle of the woods. With a band of goblins. I seriously mean a band. They all play different instruments. So I'll have to kill them before I get back, otherwise they'll think that I'm some kind of hobgoblin. All of my characters seem to be the same. They all kill random people because they are more evil than good. I usually don't enjoy D&D encounters very much, but this current chapter is really exciting. Usually are lives are at stake and our reward is not being executed or killed in some other brutal manner.

As I read A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickenson, I have decided to share my favorite part with you. Also how come everyone elses' blogs have comments on them but mine? Makes me feel left out and rejected. Not cool, guys. I mean, I know I'm not cool and I was told that (insert one of the variety of disgusting things that Cody says about me here.) I never knew I did any of those things. Any how, onward with my favorite piece. It is located in Chapter 2 of book 2:

"He'll be drawn on a hurdle to be half hanged, and then He'll be taken down and sliced before his own face, and then his inside will be taken out and burnt while he looks on, and then his head will be chopped off, and he'll be cut into quarters. That's the sentence." --Random man at the court case

Until next time, this is Blue Lightning, signing off to go play the drums, because that's what I enjoy doing for my life, because I have no friends, and this sentence keeps getting longer.

I love Volleyball!!! (In which I don't at all.)

         Now, Volleyball, is a very strange sport indeed. And in my opinion, it should only be played by hot babes on the beach. Because that's the only time it's cool. So, in gym, we are playing volleyball, which wouldn't be so bad if our team wasn't completely dysfunctional. Now there's BJ, (whose name has been changed to protect his identity.) and he's probably the best person on our team. Then we have an over-confident kid who thinks he should be the only one to hit the ball. One person says, "Good Job!" every time we attempt to hit the ball. Two people on our team run into eachother in their attempts to dodge the ball, because they think it's some deadly weapon out to kill them. There's a baldish kid who just stands there, and there's a girl who is so weak, that when she hits the ball, it falls faster towards the ground. But I'm not much better, but at least I don't run away from the ball. So there's my rant.
         Now, Big J, whose name has also been changed to protect his identification, recently had a dream about space pirates who fought against other space pirates. Now, I have been recruited onto his team as the mechanic. My only skill is to hit some pipes with a wrench and then say, "Yep! They're frozen!"
        This has inspired me to do something incredibly nerdy. Create my own space pirate role-playing game. Which also gives me a new tag entitled role-playing. So I might talk about that more later.
          Anyhow on Thursday the NBC shows were on. Now if you watched Community you will see that they were playing Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, or AD&D for short. This version of D&D came out in 1980. This was also known as 2nd edition. Now, D&D is in its 4th edition. Which is different. It now has stuff in the middle of the table, and everyone rolls their own dice. This is due to the increasing lack of imagination in people. Later I might show you of an image of an actual game of D&D. The game concept is basically the same, which is involved by rolling a twenty sided die. On the show, he had to roll at least an 18, which has only a 15% chance of happening. Now, in my own campaign, I will be applying what happened in the episode in my own adventure. Now an essay about commas:

Hello, I am going to talk about commas. Many things are important to grammar, including commas. They are very important, but many have no idea how to even use them. Many people, including you, have no idea where commas should go. Commas are used to offset interrupters, after introductory material, to join sentences, separate items in a series, and to punctuate quotes. Unripe bananas, which are bad for you to eat, can lead to health problems. “Sometimes bad bananas lead to health problems,” said a doctor somewhere. “Many animals in the ocean do not use commas or eat bananas,” spoke a speech analyst. Bananas and commas can be good for you, but overuse is not good. So in short, bananas are pretty good when they are ripe, and commas help make what you are communicating clearer to your audience. I hope that this short, introductory, interesting, encouraging and overall exciting essay has shown you the light.

(INSERT TITLE HERE)

A few days ago was dress up like a superhero/supervillain, which I have the best supervillain costume. Myself. Which happens to stand for:
MONSTROUS
YELLOWISH
SUPER
ELECTRIC
LAZER
FIEND
So you just got owned. or maybe you got pwned. Or maybe even p0wnededd. Anyway I am getting pretty good at the drums, so maybe I'll give you some way to here me play some of my beats. Maybe. I'll make a longer comic to put up here, too. It will be me in my post apocalyptic life. In which me, who happens to be taking a tinkering class, (just in the comic) builds some cool robots with this big guy, and we fight off random stuff. It features lazers, penguins, nuclear missiles, sniper rifles, assault rifles, and just normal rifles. Exploding pandas and mutated lizard men are also contained in the action-packed sci-fi horror. Just to let you know, the comic will be at the end. but first, another section of my story from November.

A fiery dagger, the orb turned into a flaming dagger with spikes. “This is amazing!” He shouted, “Absolutely amazing!”

            Then he tried a shield. It turned into a shield. He turned a coat of chainmail and the orb morphed into a suit of chainmail. He jumped up and down in his excitement. He tried thinking of other weapons. A chair could be a weapon he thought. The orb turned into a chair. This made him realize that anything could essentially be a weapon. That meant that the orb would turn into anything if he wanted it to. With this realization he suddenly felt very tired. He got into the old wooden bed and got to sleep.

            The next day he left town. He saw the bard, thanked him again, and said goodbye. He saw the guard and said goodbye. He walked out of the Iron Gate and began to walk around the lake on the dusty dirt road. There were many travelers on the road which made it very crowded. Grobble pushed his way through so he could run the rest of the way home to his family, who were waiting on him in eagerness. As he passed by many people, he found that they were trying to sell many of the goods to people for double the price, in order to make a profit. He had used all of his money though, and was eager to head back home. He made his way to the front of the crowd and took off.

            Grobble made it home in the next three days. He lived inside the town of StormForest, which was known for its large diversity among its peoples. Not only humans, but Orcs, Dwarves, Elves and Faeries were allowed to colonize here too. The Faerie people were the ones who founded the mountainous town, and they eagerly invited all sorts of different people to settle in their peaceful city. The city started out huge and expansive, the first of its kind to accept all people, leading to trade and a massive economy. This also led to problems for many species. Clans of a certain race could come and learn secrets of other clans and would soon exploit them. Many Dwarven blacksmithing secrets were discovered. Elven magic became easy to find and learn. Faerie inventions were discovered and then mass produced. This led to many clans leaving and many dying off too. The town would have eventually disappeared if it were not for the gargoyle uprising. In the 456 ck a mountain lair which had been sealed off for years using some kind of arcane and archaic ritual, which used runes unknown to most species, a faerie opened the magic lock and set the race of gargoyles free to wreak havoc. Thanks to Elven magic, the mountains surrounding the lair were sealed off and the gargoyles were trapped again, but could roam free in the mountains. The gargoyles attacked StormForest, and eventually conquered the city. Now over a hundred years later, the gargoyles are a bit more civilized of a race, and now everyone in their city once again has their freedom. The year was now 587 ck and although the gargoyles have remained the rulers of the town, many people now come and go as they please, not worrying about becoming enslaved by gargoyles.

            Grobble came upon the gate and heard the guard shout as the gate opened. Grobble hurried inside, and began to make his way to the far side of town. The town was old and many of the buildings were old and falling apart. Many more had signs saying empty; no trespassing. Penalty to follow rules will result in 500 silver coin fine. Silver was the standard money in StormForest, so it was ok to put the fine in silver. If had said 50 gold coin fine, the whole town would have been outraged by the huge price of the fine, even though it is the same value. Putting a 5,000 copper fine would have seemed too cheap for anyone. Same goes for a 1,000 steel coin fine. Grobble headed down through the broken cement path, soon reaching the richer part of the city where he dodged faeries, horses and gargoyles. He got out of that section and reached his Borderhouse, which was a common sight in this town. A borderhouse was a home where many races all lived as roommates as they got along peacefully together. In Grobble’s house there lived an old dwarf who, in Dwarven years, was still very young. He had Golden-gray hair on top of his hair and a pure gray beard with gold tips lived on his chin. He had very large muscles, and many scars from his past days as a warlord.  There was a small tiny creature with unkempt hair and scrawny arms who was known as a Gnome. He had a high pitched voice that cracked as he spoke and he had a fair knowledge of magic and could cast some very interesting spells. His favorite one was to breath life into a inanimate object. His final roommate was a tall, Elven woman with some Orc blood in her. She was an expert of magic, the bow and the blade. She could handle any situation with calmness and skill.

            Grobble opened the door and walked inside. The gnome was the first to notice him.

“You are back!” He said with delight. “Did you find my book?” the gnome had large pale blue eyes that stared up at him eagerly.

            Grobble pulled off his backpack and handed him the 14^th volume of enchanting and charming, the magic book which the gnome needed. The gnome had a photographic memory, and would memorize the spells completely, instead of carrying around all of those books. The gnome just wasn’t built for heavy lifting. Upon hearing the gnome shout, the Elf and the Dwarf lumbered down the stairs to greet Grobble.

            “Well what took you so long?” Grumbled the Dwarf, “I could have crawled faster to the festival than you could have ran! I was starting to think you had died. Well, I guess I better throw out that gravestone I made in memory of you. Did you get me my tools? If you didn’t I am going to clop you right in your head. You will be spinning for days, you will. You will wish that you never messed with Travok GoldenBeard.” While the Dwarf sat down and took a breath, the Elf took a chance to talk.

            “Well I am just glad that you got to prove the old man wrong. Not to be to the point, but did you get my wood? I won’t be surprised if you don’t find it. It is a pretty rare type of wood.”

            “Well,” said Grobble, “ you do not need to worry, either of you. I found all of the tools from an old dwarf, just like you.”

So until next time, this is Blue Lightning, signing off.

Yeah, um...

So, yeah, sorry about that really depressio post last time. That was stupid. So I apologize for that. But any way, I am behind, so I will let you all read another part of my story from November.

The two kinds of people were the honest, excited, trustworthy people seeking to get a good deal or find an amazing treasure that he could display with pride throughout his entire life, Giant fish, beast’s heads, and the most impressive parts of creatures such as tails, arms, or legs. The festival of IceMill also attracted thieves who were looking to swipe as many varieties of goodies and hide them in a patchwork burlap bag. Some thieves guilds have contests at these types of festivals, and some of their recruiting agents are specifically looking for individuals who can not only steal a lot of stuff without getting caught, but also making it out of the village gates without getting searched. The quickest way to do this would be to climb the wall, but that is a bit hard with a heavy bag in one hand, and to climb a twenty foot wall without getting noticed is a challenge in itself.

Guards know of this, and so seeing a man with drenched patched clothes and heaving attracted their attention.

“Oy, Guv’” shouted one of the men “what on earth are you doing? You come into this town during the most prized season of the decade, and you look like a fool, a soaked and wet fool! N’ to top it all off, you nod all calmly to us as you just walk on by. You ‘etter have a good reason for coming in like a fool, or else I’ll ‘ave to clop yuh’! Hur, hur, hur!”

Grobble cleared his throat and began to speak “I am Grobble, son of Oaken who is son of Thyrmir, who is son of---“

“I do not care who yer’ granddaddy’s name is you fool! I just care why you’re in my town looking like you got mugged by fishmen!” Screamed the guard.

“If I told you that that was true, would you believe me?” Grobble smiled a toothy grin.

The fat guard became furious and his face went from red to a deep purple. “NO! I would NOT believe that, unless the Daily Dragon newspaper said men were being attacked by fish people. I can assure you, there are NO SUCH THINGS AS FISH PEOPLE!”

Grobble tried in vain to calm him down “Look, I did not want to miss the festival, so I swam the lake. I am sorry I made you so mad.”

The man settled down almost instantly “Well why did you not say so, mate? Have a glass of whiskey and a towel.”

After his drink and his towel he was warmed up. But there were only a few hours left of the festival and Grobble began to panic. Then a man with a friendly face and a straw hat came up. He was carrying a lute.

“Well hello, my friend!” He said cheerfully “Allow me to be your guide and take you to the best spots in town, so you do not waste any of your precious time. Although I would like a small contribution of five silver pieces, or one of the old ones with the holes in middle!”

Grobble reached into his pocket and pulled out five dull silver coins. The bard bit them all to check if they were fake then shook Grobble’s hand. Grobble’s hand was cold and hard like a stone while the Bards was frail and small for a man.

“Fancy meeting you mate! My name is Talak Thundersnap and my father Grim, was the most famous bard in this part of the country.”

“I am Grobble Tearslaughter, who came from the Dwarven town of GeerRake to see if I could catch a glimpse of the festival. I’ve been running all week just to see it.”

“Well it was a wise decision to come out here. Here, let me show you around.” Spoke the bard and away they went.

They stopped at the very best pie stands, fish markets, magic shows and caravans. By the end Grobble had only a few steel coins left. That was when a jester approached them. He wore a jester’s hat that came to two points that was purple and green with gold bells. The rest of his clothes were red and blue with some black with silver bells. His shoes were green and pointed, and they twisted back toward his heel. His voice cracked as he spoke, and he sounded at least twenty years older than he looked. He tried to sound with the youth and optimism of a young jester, but had a very difficult time doing so. He seemed very out of place among all of these peasants and merchants.

“Well hello there! My name is Gera-ar, and I come from the mountains in the north, hence the –Ar. Ha ha! That makes me sound like pirate! Ay, but I got what you want, mate. You see, I’m old. You can tell from my voice. But I do not look old at all, see? No wrinkles! I have been using magic for the last twenty-two years to keep my youth about me. Now I am retiring. Now I can tell you only want the best of the best, no? Well I tell you what. I will give you this orb for 3 coins of any type. You must accept before I will give it to you. That is the deal. Now for my trick to work you must tell me, do you accept, or do you decline?”

Grobble thought for a moment, pinning the pros against the cons. Finally, after several moments, he spoke. “I accept, and will give you these 3 steel coins.” He handed him the money.

“Steel, huh? Well that is an interesting choice.” The jester spoke. He pushed the steel coins into 3 slots in the orb then cast a quick spell, Mumbled something, and handed Grobble the orb. “Hold the orb and think of a weapon, be as specific or as general as you like, and it will turn into it in your hand. Not only that, but it can also turn into any kind of armor or shield, but it cannot be more than one thing at once!”

Grobble’s hairy chin hung open. “Th-this is amazing!” He sputtered! “I could never afford anything like this, though.”

“Oh it’s free of charge. It is getting late, and the burden of having too many magical items, instruments, tools and weapons has really gotten me down.” The jester coughed a few times. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I really must lie down.” With that the jester clapped his hands twice and a caravan covered in cloth just like the jester’s appeared in a puff of purple smoke. The jester clambered in, his face expressionless, clapped his hands twice, and was gone, leaving both the bard and Grobble astonished and bewildered.

A couple of minutes later, the bard showed him to the best cheap inn he knew of. It really was good for a cheap inn. It had actual beds! Grobble went inside to talk to the innkeeper. He was fat, and looked extremely tired, just like the guards. He had pudgy, wet hands, and a dirty, uncombed mustache that appeared to have looked like something at one point. He swayed in his chair, and was obviously drunk.

“Whysh Hellosh!” He sputtered. “I’msh the Innshkeep! SOME FESHTIVAL, HUH?! I’ve beensh having loadsh of time fun! Er, I meansh fun timesh. Or do I meansh time funsh? I dunno’. You can havesh yourshelf a room for twos a copper!”

Grobble handed him the money, thanked him, and when the innkeeper finally figured out which of the keys were the right one (There were five, but the innkeeper saw 30.) Grobble went to his room and decided to try out his new orb of power. First he tried a simple thing. Long sword he thought and the orb turned into a basic, steel colored long sword. He tried a few more things, mace, club, flail and all of them came out a basic steel color. He remembered the jester saying he could think of anything specific, too. He thought of a golden sword, the orb changed to a golden sword.

Well, yep until next term, this is Dylan Waters, I mean Blue Lightning, going to play drums.

Life is weird right now

I think that it is pretty darn lame that we still have to do blog posts over the holiday break. Because I was looking forward to a full two weeks of laziness. And so, due to my laziness, I may or may not do quotes of the week. Because I found this massive sword that is awesome. You know, it is weird, the way that as I write these blog posts, I develop a better skill of writing, or as half of the people in my creative class call it, writting. Because they don't have very good writting or writing skills. I have writing and writting skills, but bragging isn't my thing. I leave that to old people. I like brag discretely, so that I don't feel like I am actually bragging.

I went to dinosaur land, and I got soooooo tired that I laid down and went to sleep. I had a very cool dream about dinosaurs.

Moving on, I am very good at procrastinating. That is why now, it is Friday, I have 2 blog posts to make up, 1 due on Sunday, and 12 huge assignments I have to do by Wednesday. I also never read my honors English books. Well, I read one of them. I read Martian Chronicles, but I never put a review on for the last book I read, so now I am also behind on that. I never did my scrapbook page for geography, and apparently that's supposed to be more than a page, I don't know where I thought that it was supposed to be just one page. I guess I just assumed we wouldn't get a huge project. So yeah, I'm probably going to fail most of my classes now. Oh, that reminds me that I still have to write my multi-genre paper. But, I don't think that this is entirely my fault. I mean, my aunt came over, so we kinda had to do things with her, and I had to go move stuff around for my mom's friend, then my grandma broke her shoulder, I have normal scheduled activities that got in the way, and I just wanted to relax during the break. But instead, I was stressed the whole time about needing to do my homework sometime, now I am stressed about if I can get it all done. So I will probably never finish and I will end up regretting ever having this break. So I am sorry. I failed.

And now, here is a typed up version of my examination of life and death, and why any of those events even occur. The only reason we live is to die. The only reason we die is because we live. The reason to live is to die without fear of dying. But why do we die without fear? The only reason we die is unknown. Perhaps finding that reason is why we live, and we die without fear then. But why should we die without fear of dying, why not with that fear? When we die, that is when we must be ready, so then we die without fear. But what of those who die with fear? If a heaven and a hell exist, is the only difference fear? Is fear the object we seek to overcome? Do we do dangerous, brave and corrupt things all in the name of overcoming fear? And is so, is that why we kill each other and other beings who are not as strong willed or as strong as us? Is the only difference will and fear? Is fear really such a powerful presence that it literally decides who lives and who dies? But fear can only live inside a creature. So without creatures, fear would die. As long as there is something living, fear has the strength to live on. If the difference between heaven and hell is in fact fear, then if we die in fear, we are damned to hell? And without fear we are exalted towards heaven? Is god merely a trick to make use die without fear, if he does so exist? Is he the true menace and horrifying creature in this story? Perhaps Satan pities the people who die with fear, who feel they did not finish their lives, and that they still have something to accomplish. So then Satan would be a friend who we could rely on, who could help us during difficult situations, and when we die with fear. Perhaps he is there to protect the people who were not ready to die, perhaps even shows them why they should be ready. He must then help them overcome their fear. Perhaps the god, only accepts those who were ready to die, and thinks poorly of those who are not? He would only accept those not needing any further reason to live. Then if that is the case, then suicide would be the most beautiful thing one could do in their lives. Then all our decisions lead to the moment we die. If, when we die, we are ready and feel completed, then dying is good, and you have succeeded at life and death. If your decisions lead to death when you are not ready, then dying is the worst, and you have failed at both life and death. Then, would it be possible to succeed at life and fail at death, or fail at life and succeed at death? I suppose we must either be greedy and selfish, or we must be light-hearted and foolish. Then still, why we need to die is unclear. Perhaps there is no afterlife, just a thing religion tells you to comfort you when you are, or are not, ready to die. Perhaps all there is is oblivion. In that case we live and we die with no real purpose. If life had no purpose there would be only madness. No hope, no suffering, just madness. Perhaps we do not realize that we live lives of madness. We just misconstrue what is really happening around us. Perhaps there is no way to open your eyes and see truly what the world has become. I suppose the dead would know, both the purpose and whether there is madness. However, perhaps only one who has died with fear, and one who has died without fear, can know why we die. And they would have two very different answers. In that case, without having this knowledge, we might as well all just die. If there is no reason without reason, there would be no need for living.

I will leave you to ponder upon that. Until next time, I am signing off.

The nerdy adventures of my life.

Today I will address the following issues with my life. In this Order.
1- An introduction (In which I remind you of your life.)
2- Quotes of the week (In which I actually use real quotes.)
3- A shopping adventure (In which I accidentally offend some mexicans.)
4- The ultimate quest (In which I attempt to find more friends.)
5- A drawing which I will draw you a pretty picture (not really.)

So welcome all to my labyrinth of lost souls. Meaning that if you got here you either tried really hard, or I simply trapped you here and forced you to read this until the rest of eternity. Any how, bookmark this page, because you will want to come back. And don't forget to read my comment from my last post. So scroll down after you finish reading this blog.

Quotes of the weekend. I mean week. Or day shine. Because Pagans call it something like that.

Monday: Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.

George S. Patton

Tuesday:Rules and models destroy genius and art.
Henry Miller
Wednesday:If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
George Santayana
Thursday:Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions.
Edgar Cayce
Friday:Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
Toni Morrison
Saturday:Electricity is really just organized lightning.
George Carlin
Sunday:A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
E. B. White

Yesterday I went shopping for Christmas presents with my sister. We had 20 bucks and we went to dollar stores. With tax we only had 19 bucks to spend. I bought a candy bar that was only 50 cents. The rest of the stuff I won't say for fear that if my parents do read this, they will know what we got them. Then, on our way out of Family Dollar, I held open the door for some mexican guys. Meanwhile my sister said to me, "Dylan, do we need any rain ponchos?"
And to that I said, "No, we need some mexican ponchos." This apparently was something you never say around a Mexican, because the looks they gave me were deadly. That is about all the interesting parts of my day.

Recently I have undertaken a very difficult quest. I have been attempting to find more friends. Which, so far, has been a failed attempt. So yeah, follow this blog, and I will count you as one of my friends.

Now here is a cool drawing of a ghost/comic because I still need more words.

Click to biggy it.

So until next time, this is me, signing off.

1000 word post of stuff that no one really cares about.

Today is the day, That is December second. Did anyone do No-shavember? Well, I did, but the only real thing that happened is that my uni-brow grew in real thick. But I shaved it yesterday night, so it's not there anymore. Umm, I guess I'll do the quotes of the week!
Monday: Salmon.
Tuesday: In 5 years we'll have holograms and crap.
Wednesday: Just free the main slave, the others aren't worth it.

Thursday: Who knew it could talk

Friday: Boulder! Boulder! Boulder!
Saturday: Look! It's Spock!
Now for a quick 6 page comic I made in an assignment for our mythology wiki which can be found here.

  

(Click on the image to biggen it!!!)

Before I sign off, I have no idea why that the 5:36 post went to the top, so until next time this is me, signing off.