Late again, Eugene!

I have no idea who Eugene is. I think I hung out with him once. In the end he was a motel serial killer, pretending to be his mother. In a related story I saw "To Kill a Mockingbird" which was put up by Davis High yesterday. It was good, except for their poor southern accents. My grandmother could have a done a better southern accent than those fools. Atticus Finch, a southern lawyer, didn't use a southern accent at all. Key word southern. My character from Nerdrealmia died. So I have a new guy that kinda looks like the guy from Avatar. He's pretty cool too, though. I mean he blasts away with undead with blinding light with his bare hands. He's also reincarnated so he's just 0 years old right now. How come we say 1 year old but we say 0 years old? That's kinda weird. Hmmm. I can't think of anything else to write about. Well I better cuz I have 1190 words due by the end of this darned week. Sounds like a job for something I've written before to put in here. Well, I'm gonna go look for something. And when I get back, there better be at least 1 comment from someone other than myself. Oh wait there is!

Schedule

Today and tomorrow (A.K.A. Tuesday and Wednesday,) are funky schedules in which we must attend every class that day. Here They Are:
Tue                         Wed
HR       8:10-8:25      Hr
1          8:30-9:10      1
2          9:15-9:55      5
4          10:00-10:40  6
5          10:45-11:25   8
1 lunch 11:25-11:55   1 lunch
3          12:00-12:40  7
3          11:30-12:10  7
2 lunch 12:10-12:40 2 lunch
6          12:45-1:25  2
7          1:30-12:10  3
8          2:15-2:55  4
Here is my proposed schedule. Same times though
Tue
5
6
7
8
1 lunch
3
3
2 lunch
1
2
4

Wed
1
2
3
4
1 lunch
7
7
2 lunch
5
6
8

This week

This week I will share my 1-page story for Carter that I am about to write. At 9:34 pm. I'll probably be done around 10:30. Let's begin!

Dylan Waters

Story of Epic Proportions!

By Dylan (Blue (El (JaK Fross) Coolio) Lightning) Waters

       

        The bombs went off. All of our equipment went flying off our cart, into the endless sea of sand. Yes, this is Egypt. A land of little water, mummies, and lots and lots of sand. I worked part time at a small taxonomist. OF PHARAOHS! Anyhow, our cart went flying, and when I say we, I mean me, my master, (as I was his apprentice,) and me camel!

Yes, sir, were we a team. But into the good part. A new pharaoh had died. That meant work for us. But since our cart exploded, there was no time. We had to preserve him immediately. So we poured salt on him to dry him out. Then we waited 30 days in the hot, dry sun. We pulled out his brains piece by piece and then we cut out his organs. We wrapped him up tight, and then we built a pyramid real quick. We stuffed him in there and then we skedaddled back to Cairo.  I hope you enjoyed this interesting literary compository. It took me nearly 14 minutes to write my story about mummification. Also, the characters in this story are fictitious. Any relation to any person(s), living or dead is purely coincidental.

That concludes my story. My actual version had several pictures, but they were lost due to Microsoft's lameness. I am also now stuck on double space, which is really bugging me. I will transcribe a later post possibly tomorrow, but until then, mental fatigue is making my hands type the following.

Until next time, The is Jak Fross/El coolio/Blhar/Brutehorn/Kub Bopo/Blue Lightning/Gargoyle Moe/Dylan Waters, signing out.

I never knew that goblins would be my friends

At D&D, my character right now is a Human Rogue named Azaroth. He uses a sniper crossbow because that's what his job is. A sniper. Another player, whose name I cannot remember at the moment, also plays a rogue, but he uses a club to own his enemies. In the game, that character is my brother. We both got arrested and he spent his time working in the jail yard while I spent my time figuring out how to kill the jail yard gaurds. Soon we had broken out. We fled to the nearby city and hid there. Then an offer came up to protect a group of pioneer/pilgrims and start a new city in the ruins of an ancient kingdom. We also got land permits and my character's grand idea was to start a horrible crime city with me and my bro being the crime lords. The first monsters we encountered were stirges, which are like big mosquito type things that mostly attacked our horses. After a battle of rolling in the grass, I ended up with a bad case of ticks, and Azaroth sat the next battle out. This is because I forgot my character sheet.

So in the next battle, we fought goblins who wanted the herbs that some lady was digging up. Weird, I know, welcome to D&D. I had a wizard character as a back-up, so I played him for the battle. I was excited to fight goblins because they usually have some piece of treasure that they took off of some merchant they killed. But no, the merchants they were planning to kill were us, and therefore they did not have anything good on them at all. While that happened my main character, Azaroth was kidnapped by other goblins that were raiding our caravan. Fudge. The goblins however, accepted me, being a criminal and as mean as a goblin. So now I am on my way back to the caravan from the middle of the woods. With a band of goblins. I seriously mean a band. They all play different instruments. So I'll have to kill them before I get back, otherwise they'll think that I'm some kind of hobgoblin. All of my characters seem to be the same. They all kill random people because they are more evil than good. I usually don't enjoy D&D encounters very much, but this current chapter is really exciting. Usually are lives are at stake and our reward is not being executed or killed in some other brutal manner.

As I read A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickenson, I have decided to share my favorite part with you. Also how come everyone elses' blogs have comments on them but mine? Makes me feel left out and rejected. Not cool, guys. I mean, I know I'm not cool and I was told that (insert one of the variety of disgusting things that Cody says about me here.) I never knew I did any of those things. Any how, onward with my favorite piece. It is located in Chapter 2 of book 2:

"He'll be drawn on a hurdle to be half hanged, and then He'll be taken down and sliced before his own face, and then his inside will be taken out and burnt while he looks on, and then his head will be chopped off, and he'll be cut into quarters. That's the sentence." --Random man at the court case

Until next time, this is Blue Lightning, signing off to go play the drums, because that's what I enjoy doing for my life, because I have no friends, and this sentence keeps getting longer.

I love Volleyball!!! (In which I don't at all.)

         Now, Volleyball, is a very strange sport indeed. And in my opinion, it should only be played by hot babes on the beach. Because that's the only time it's cool. So, in gym, we are playing volleyball, which wouldn't be so bad if our team wasn't completely dysfunctional. Now there's BJ, (whose name has been changed to protect his identity.) and he's probably the best person on our team. Then we have an over-confident kid who thinks he should be the only one to hit the ball. One person says, "Good Job!" every time we attempt to hit the ball. Two people on our team run into eachother in their attempts to dodge the ball, because they think it's some deadly weapon out to kill them. There's a baldish kid who just stands there, and there's a girl who is so weak, that when she hits the ball, it falls faster towards the ground. But I'm not much better, but at least I don't run away from the ball. So there's my rant.
         Now, Big J, whose name has also been changed to protect his identification, recently had a dream about space pirates who fought against other space pirates. Now, I have been recruited onto his team as the mechanic. My only skill is to hit some pipes with a wrench and then say, "Yep! They're frozen!"
        This has inspired me to do something incredibly nerdy. Create my own space pirate role-playing game. Which also gives me a new tag entitled role-playing. So I might talk about that more later.
          Anyhow on Thursday the NBC shows were on. Now if you watched Community you will see that they were playing Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, or AD&D for short. This version of D&D came out in 1980. This was also known as 2nd edition. Now, D&D is in its 4th edition. Which is different. It now has stuff in the middle of the table, and everyone rolls their own dice. This is due to the increasing lack of imagination in people. Later I might show you of an image of an actual game of D&D. The game concept is basically the same, which is involved by rolling a twenty sided die. On the show, he had to roll at least an 18, which has only a 15% chance of happening. Now, in my own campaign, I will be applying what happened in the episode in my own adventure. Now an essay about commas:

Hello, I am going to talk about commas. Many things are important to grammar, including commas. They are very important, but many have no idea how to even use them. Many people, including you, have no idea where commas should go. Commas are used to offset interrupters, after introductory material, to join sentences, separate items in a series, and to punctuate quotes. Unripe bananas, which are bad for you to eat, can lead to health problems. “Sometimes bad bananas lead to health problems,” said a doctor somewhere. “Many animals in the ocean do not use commas or eat bananas,” spoke a speech analyst. Bananas and commas can be good for you, but overuse is not good. So in short, bananas are pretty good when they are ripe, and commas help make what you are communicating clearer to your audience. I hope that this short, introductory, interesting, encouraging and overall exciting essay has shown you the light.

(INSERT TITLE HERE)

A few days ago was dress up like a superhero/supervillain, which I have the best supervillain costume. Myself. Which happens to stand for:
MONSTROUS
YELLOWISH
SUPER
ELECTRIC
LAZER
FIEND
So you just got owned. or maybe you got pwned. Or maybe even p0wnededd. Anyway I am getting pretty good at the drums, so maybe I'll give you some way to here me play some of my beats. Maybe. I'll make a longer comic to put up here, too. It will be me in my post apocalyptic life. In which me, who happens to be taking a tinkering class, (just in the comic) builds some cool robots with this big guy, and we fight off random stuff. It features lazers, penguins, nuclear missiles, sniper rifles, assault rifles, and just normal rifles. Exploding pandas and mutated lizard men are also contained in the action-packed sci-fi horror. Just to let you know, the comic will be at the end. but first, another section of my story from November.

A fiery dagger, the orb turned into a flaming dagger with spikes. “This is amazing!” He shouted, “Absolutely amazing!”

            Then he tried a shield. It turned into a shield. He turned a coat of chainmail and the orb morphed into a suit of chainmail. He jumped up and down in his excitement. He tried thinking of other weapons. A chair could be a weapon he thought. The orb turned into a chair. This made him realize that anything could essentially be a weapon. That meant that the orb would turn into anything if he wanted it to. With this realization he suddenly felt very tired. He got into the old wooden bed and got to sleep.

            The next day he left town. He saw the bard, thanked him again, and said goodbye. He saw the guard and said goodbye. He walked out of the Iron Gate and began to walk around the lake on the dusty dirt road. There were many travelers on the road which made it very crowded. Grobble pushed his way through so he could run the rest of the way home to his family, who were waiting on him in eagerness. As he passed by many people, he found that they were trying to sell many of the goods to people for double the price, in order to make a profit. He had used all of his money though, and was eager to head back home. He made his way to the front of the crowd and took off.

            Grobble made it home in the next three days. He lived inside the town of StormForest, which was known for its large diversity among its peoples. Not only humans, but Orcs, Dwarves, Elves and Faeries were allowed to colonize here too. The Faerie people were the ones who founded the mountainous town, and they eagerly invited all sorts of different people to settle in their peaceful city. The city started out huge and expansive, the first of its kind to accept all people, leading to trade and a massive economy. This also led to problems for many species. Clans of a certain race could come and learn secrets of other clans and would soon exploit them. Many Dwarven blacksmithing secrets were discovered. Elven magic became easy to find and learn. Faerie inventions were discovered and then mass produced. This led to many clans leaving and many dying off too. The town would have eventually disappeared if it were not for the gargoyle uprising. In the 456 ck a mountain lair which had been sealed off for years using some kind of arcane and archaic ritual, which used runes unknown to most species, a faerie opened the magic lock and set the race of gargoyles free to wreak havoc. Thanks to Elven magic, the mountains surrounding the lair were sealed off and the gargoyles were trapped again, but could roam free in the mountains. The gargoyles attacked StormForest, and eventually conquered the city. Now over a hundred years later, the gargoyles are a bit more civilized of a race, and now everyone in their city once again has their freedom. The year was now 587 ck and although the gargoyles have remained the rulers of the town, many people now come and go as they please, not worrying about becoming enslaved by gargoyles.

            Grobble came upon the gate and heard the guard shout as the gate opened. Grobble hurried inside, and began to make his way to the far side of town. The town was old and many of the buildings were old and falling apart. Many more had signs saying empty; no trespassing. Penalty to follow rules will result in 500 silver coin fine. Silver was the standard money in StormForest, so it was ok to put the fine in silver. If had said 50 gold coin fine, the whole town would have been outraged by the huge price of the fine, even though it is the same value. Putting a 5,000 copper fine would have seemed too cheap for anyone. Same goes for a 1,000 steel coin fine. Grobble headed down through the broken cement path, soon reaching the richer part of the city where he dodged faeries, horses and gargoyles. He got out of that section and reached his Borderhouse, which was a common sight in this town. A borderhouse was a home where many races all lived as roommates as they got along peacefully together. In Grobble’s house there lived an old dwarf who, in Dwarven years, was still very young. He had Golden-gray hair on top of his hair and a pure gray beard with gold tips lived on his chin. He had very large muscles, and many scars from his past days as a warlord.  There was a small tiny creature with unkempt hair and scrawny arms who was known as a Gnome. He had a high pitched voice that cracked as he spoke and he had a fair knowledge of magic and could cast some very interesting spells. His favorite one was to breath life into a inanimate object. His final roommate was a tall, Elven woman with some Orc blood in her. She was an expert of magic, the bow and the blade. She could handle any situation with calmness and skill.

            Grobble opened the door and walked inside. The gnome was the first to notice him.

“You are back!” He said with delight. “Did you find my book?” the gnome had large pale blue eyes that stared up at him eagerly.

            Grobble pulled off his backpack and handed him the 14^th volume of enchanting and charming, the magic book which the gnome needed. The gnome had a photographic memory, and would memorize the spells completely, instead of carrying around all of those books. The gnome just wasn’t built for heavy lifting. Upon hearing the gnome shout, the Elf and the Dwarf lumbered down the stairs to greet Grobble.

            “Well what took you so long?” Grumbled the Dwarf, “I could have crawled faster to the festival than you could have ran! I was starting to think you had died. Well, I guess I better throw out that gravestone I made in memory of you. Did you get me my tools? If you didn’t I am going to clop you right in your head. You will be spinning for days, you will. You will wish that you never messed with Travok GoldenBeard.” While the Dwarf sat down and took a breath, the Elf took a chance to talk.

            “Well I am just glad that you got to prove the old man wrong. Not to be to the point, but did you get my wood? I won’t be surprised if you don’t find it. It is a pretty rare type of wood.”

            “Well,” said Grobble, “ you do not need to worry, either of you. I found all of the tools from an old dwarf, just like you.”

So until next time, this is Blue Lightning, signing off.

Yeah, um...

So, yeah, sorry about that really depressio post last time. That was stupid. So I apologize for that. But any way, I am behind, so I will let you all read another part of my story from November.

The two kinds of people were the honest, excited, trustworthy people seeking to get a good deal or find an amazing treasure that he could display with pride throughout his entire life, Giant fish, beast’s heads, and the most impressive parts of creatures such as tails, arms, or legs. The festival of IceMill also attracted thieves who were looking to swipe as many varieties of goodies and hide them in a patchwork burlap bag. Some thieves guilds have contests at these types of festivals, and some of their recruiting agents are specifically looking for individuals who can not only steal a lot of stuff without getting caught, but also making it out of the village gates without getting searched. The quickest way to do this would be to climb the wall, but that is a bit hard with a heavy bag in one hand, and to climb a twenty foot wall without getting noticed is a challenge in itself.

Guards know of this, and so seeing a man with drenched patched clothes and heaving attracted their attention.

“Oy, Guv’” shouted one of the men “what on earth are you doing? You come into this town during the most prized season of the decade, and you look like a fool, a soaked and wet fool! N’ to top it all off, you nod all calmly to us as you just walk on by. You ‘etter have a good reason for coming in like a fool, or else I’ll ‘ave to clop yuh’! Hur, hur, hur!”

Grobble cleared his throat and began to speak “I am Grobble, son of Oaken who is son of Thyrmir, who is son of---“

“I do not care who yer’ granddaddy’s name is you fool! I just care why you’re in my town looking like you got mugged by fishmen!” Screamed the guard.

“If I told you that that was true, would you believe me?” Grobble smiled a toothy grin.

The fat guard became furious and his face went from red to a deep purple. “NO! I would NOT believe that, unless the Daily Dragon newspaper said men were being attacked by fish people. I can assure you, there are NO SUCH THINGS AS FISH PEOPLE!”

Grobble tried in vain to calm him down “Look, I did not want to miss the festival, so I swam the lake. I am sorry I made you so mad.”

The man settled down almost instantly “Well why did you not say so, mate? Have a glass of whiskey and a towel.”

After his drink and his towel he was warmed up. But there were only a few hours left of the festival and Grobble began to panic. Then a man with a friendly face and a straw hat came up. He was carrying a lute.

“Well hello, my friend!” He said cheerfully “Allow me to be your guide and take you to the best spots in town, so you do not waste any of your precious time. Although I would like a small contribution of five silver pieces, or one of the old ones with the holes in middle!”

Grobble reached into his pocket and pulled out five dull silver coins. The bard bit them all to check if they were fake then shook Grobble’s hand. Grobble’s hand was cold and hard like a stone while the Bards was frail and small for a man.

“Fancy meeting you mate! My name is Talak Thundersnap and my father Grim, was the most famous bard in this part of the country.”

“I am Grobble Tearslaughter, who came from the Dwarven town of GeerRake to see if I could catch a glimpse of the festival. I’ve been running all week just to see it.”

“Well it was a wise decision to come out here. Here, let me show you around.” Spoke the bard and away they went.

They stopped at the very best pie stands, fish markets, magic shows and caravans. By the end Grobble had only a few steel coins left. That was when a jester approached them. He wore a jester’s hat that came to two points that was purple and green with gold bells. The rest of his clothes were red and blue with some black with silver bells. His shoes were green and pointed, and they twisted back toward his heel. His voice cracked as he spoke, and he sounded at least twenty years older than he looked. He tried to sound with the youth and optimism of a young jester, but had a very difficult time doing so. He seemed very out of place among all of these peasants and merchants.

“Well hello there! My name is Gera-ar, and I come from the mountains in the north, hence the –Ar. Ha ha! That makes me sound like pirate! Ay, but I got what you want, mate. You see, I’m old. You can tell from my voice. But I do not look old at all, see? No wrinkles! I have been using magic for the last twenty-two years to keep my youth about me. Now I am retiring. Now I can tell you only want the best of the best, no? Well I tell you what. I will give you this orb for 3 coins of any type. You must accept before I will give it to you. That is the deal. Now for my trick to work you must tell me, do you accept, or do you decline?”

Grobble thought for a moment, pinning the pros against the cons. Finally, after several moments, he spoke. “I accept, and will give you these 3 steel coins.” He handed him the money.

“Steel, huh? Well that is an interesting choice.” The jester spoke. He pushed the steel coins into 3 slots in the orb then cast a quick spell, Mumbled something, and handed Grobble the orb. “Hold the orb and think of a weapon, be as specific or as general as you like, and it will turn into it in your hand. Not only that, but it can also turn into any kind of armor or shield, but it cannot be more than one thing at once!”

Grobble’s hairy chin hung open. “Th-this is amazing!” He sputtered! “I could never afford anything like this, though.”

“Oh it’s free of charge. It is getting late, and the burden of having too many magical items, instruments, tools and weapons has really gotten me down.” The jester coughed a few times. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I really must lie down.” With that the jester clapped his hands twice and a caravan covered in cloth just like the jester’s appeared in a puff of purple smoke. The jester clambered in, his face expressionless, clapped his hands twice, and was gone, leaving both the bard and Grobble astonished and bewildered.

A couple of minutes later, the bard showed him to the best cheap inn he knew of. It really was good for a cheap inn. It had actual beds! Grobble went inside to talk to the innkeeper. He was fat, and looked extremely tired, just like the guards. He had pudgy, wet hands, and a dirty, uncombed mustache that appeared to have looked like something at one point. He swayed in his chair, and was obviously drunk.

“Whysh Hellosh!” He sputtered. “I’msh the Innshkeep! SOME FESHTIVAL, HUH?! I’ve beensh having loadsh of time fun! Er, I meansh fun timesh. Or do I meansh time funsh? I dunno’. You can havesh yourshelf a room for twos a copper!”

Grobble handed him the money, thanked him, and when the innkeeper finally figured out which of the keys were the right one (There were five, but the innkeeper saw 30.) Grobble went to his room and decided to try out his new orb of power. First he tried a simple thing. Long sword he thought and the orb turned into a basic, steel colored long sword. He tried a few more things, mace, club, flail and all of them came out a basic steel color. He remembered the jester saying he could think of anything specific, too. He thought of a golden sword, the orb changed to a golden sword.

Well, yep until next term, this is Dylan Waters, I mean Blue Lightning, going to play drums.